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Hi. I’m Self-Absorbed January 4, 2009

Posted by L in Disgusting, Family, Friends, General, Headlines, Personal, Random, Real Conversations, Wisdom.
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Ignorant: Lacking knowledge
Self-Absorbed: Preoccupied with one’s own thoughts, interests, etc

That is me.  Defined.

Everyone is ignorant in some area.  Two of my (many) areas of ignorance are politics and world events.  Last night, this was painfully obvious.

I often use the excuse that I don’t pick up channels on my television, so I can’t watch the new.  But, hello to self… I have do have the internet and I do know how to read.  I do see headlines on my home page, so I have a vague clue as to some things that go on.  However, I am still quite guilty of ignorance. I am guilty of only paying attention to things in my home, really.  I mean, I often don’t know what goes on inside my own community let alone outside of it.  Self-absorbed.

I could go on about the internet or computers to a degree.  I could talk about my husband’s health, my children’s health, our finances, in-laws, some of my relatives, my house and it’s needed repairs…  I could go on thinking I’m the center of my world.  But I’m not.

One would think that since I have, as one friend puts it, a “dooms day outlook” I would pay more attention to the world.
One would think, as  Christian, I would pay close attention to what is happening in one particular country.

Last night, I “saw” (re: connected with online) a friend who I hadn’t seen in a while.  He said he was “worried but safe”.  Huh?  “We are at war.”  Oh yeah, I think to myself, I’ve seen some headlines.  I knew where this friend and his family vacationed and where he traveled for work.  However, I either did not know or had forgotten where he and his family actually lived.  Once reminded, I felt guilt.  I should know more about what is going on there.  I should know more!

This morning there is a headline that reads

Civilians on both sides caught in crossfire

I think of my friend.  I look a the picture and wonder if that is what his life is like now.  War.  It seems so distant.

Yes, we have our own troops places.  But, again, to me, that is distant.  I know people or know people who know people who are “away” (in the military).  So, although that touches me, it’s not fully real to me.

War.

I know things will get bad here one day.  I even believe it won’t be long before big changes happen.  However, my house does not shake.  I do not wonder if my friends who do not live in my town are injured, hurt, still have a standing house…

Until last night.  When my eyes were opened to my selfishness.  My ignorance, which I knew I had, was more than a bit embarrassing. It didn’t just leave me out of an intelligent conversation this time.  It left me seeming cold and callous to a friend.  As if I did not care.
It also made me realize, that as a Christian, perhaps I am failing. I see signs, but I am not watching.

I am self-absorbed.

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Comments»

1. tam - January 6, 2009

wow. very revealing. i cant say i am much different than this. and im not very happy about it.

good words, girl. hats off to you for writing it too.

2. L - January 7, 2009

Tam: Thank you (for the hats off, not for being like me… tho admitting it, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one, so thank for that confession too… Yeah, rambling there, but maybe I needed to lighten it up a bit… or maybe it’s morning and I have no business replying to comments…)

I have been trying to read a bit more about what’s going on over there, but I still don’t think I could hold an intelligent conversation regarding the situation or those involved.
It’s so easy, even the few days since this post, to fall back into habits. Getting out of myself isn’t as easy as it should be.


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