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The Stench October 25, 2008

Posted by L in Disgusting, Family, General, Life, Random.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I confess.

I . Hate. Coffee.

I cannot stand the smell of it.  It is gross, nasty, disgusting, revolting, stinky… You get the idea.

If you like it, fine.  If you enjoy the smell or taste, good for you.  You can have my portion of coffee as well because I certainly do NOT want it.

This leads me to my current dilemma.

The Man.

He has, over the years, decided he likes coffee.  He occasionally has it, while I make face of disgust, when we go out.  He drinks it at his mother’s house.  He developed the “habit” while away from home with his job.

His mother recently acquired a new coffee maker.  Today, he walked in with her old coffee maker and a can of coffee.  I think I threw up a little in my mouth at just the thought.

Yes, it’s that bad.

I can handle it at other people’s houses.  I deal with it out in public or at an employers.  However, this is in my own house.  This means, every morning I will wake up with a headache and ready to hurl.

So, what I am asking of you is advice.  HOW do I get the STINK that is bound to come with the coffee maker out of my house?  What is the fastest, most powerful way?  Shall I buy lysol by the case and douse the kitchen every morning?  Do I purchase a bunch of cheap candles and every morning run around lighting them as the dripping begins?  Do I invest in a gas mask for the children and me? Do I look for those nose plugs that some swimmers wear?

Please, someone, rescue me from this olfactory attack.  Help arm my sense of smell.
Or at the very least, send some barf bags and ibuprofen.



1. mistyisforeverlost - October 25, 2008

Ok, first of all..coffee does not stink! It doesn’t and that idea is all in your head and it’s just wrong wrong wrong! Coffee is good and delicious and ever so yummy! Especially *sips* after like the fifth cup and *sips* you have the sudden burst of energy so you can run around cleaning your house *sips* like nobodies business! Coffee is good good good good good good!

Sorta like SoBe, only different!

The smell of coffee? Dunno, I brew every morning and we all sorta like the smell….even more so when someone *looks around the page carefully* sends me flavored coffee which has even more caffeinne in it *sips* so yeah…smell good!

*whispers* try candles..but really….I think you should go for the gas mask option that stuff just gets in the house and you can never get the smell out

2. Austin - October 26, 2008

As a coffee drinker I am baffled that anyone would want to remove the aroma from their home but let me say that if you hate the smell this much there’s gotta be a reason. Try sitting out boxes of baking soda or something or put the coffee maker in a separate room someplace where you don’t have to be around it all the time. Oh, hey, get one of those cheap little smokeless ash trays from Goodwill and sit it beside the coffee maker. That might help keep the smell down. You just plug it in and it sucks up the smoke/aroma. If you really can’t stand the smell of it I’d suggest limiting your contact with it by putting it in a room that you don’t go in a lot and sit a smokeless ash tray beside it.

I will say this, I’m starting to doubt our friendship. Let me guess in addition to you not liking coffee you also have a small dog and you only like dark chocolate. Please, I say please get yourself in therapy today. There is hope for you L, don’t give up on yourself just yet. 🙂 Coffee, large dogs and milk chocolate are on the horizon for you. I just know it.

Austin (weeps in her soul for haters of coffee)

3. bluesuit12 - October 27, 2008

I don’t drink coffee either and like you, abhor the smell. If I have to go down the aisle with coffee on it in the store I hold my breath the whole time. I don’t know what you could do about the smell. No one in my family drinks it and neither does my roommate. I would go with candles though. Just be careful to pick one with a smell that won’t mix badly with the coffee smell.

4. L - October 27, 2008

*gag* I’m glad you like it. *gag* I’d be more than happy to pass along what we have, honestly.
And for the record, it is nothing, NOTHING like SoBe!

The small-ish dog, medium sized really, is my son’s buddy, not mine. As for chocolate, I do hope this is not the straw that broke the friendship, but I really don’t care for it. Well, except for white chocolate. Lindt Lindor white chocolate bon bons. Mmmmm.

Thank you for the smokeless ashtray idea. I might try if I didn’t think others would believe it was “please smoke here” sign.

It looks as though you and I are the only ones with any sense on this post. What is it with these coffee drinkers? Do they not realize what it smells like? I totally get the “no breathing isle” thing. I have been known to hold my breath as well. Yes, I am an adult. So? lol

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