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Welcome to my morning June 28, 2008

Posted by L in Family, General, Life, Summer.
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It’s raining out. It’s been raining since I don’t know when, but I do know that at 5something this morning it was raining. How do I know this? Because I woke up. That’s not a bad thing. I often wake up overnight or in the wee hours of the morning. The rain isn’t bad either because I find storms rather relaxing. What was bad though was the question in my mind. “Did I roll up my windows last night?” Now I don’t know why I thought it would be helpful, but I threw on some clothes and headed out the door. I stood in the door way, with a flash light shining on the van windows. Yup, from several feet away, with lighting flashing like a antique strobe light and rain falling like 1000 sprinklers on a hot summer afternoon, I stood in my doorway without my glasses shining a flashlight at a wet piece of glass trying to decipher if the glass was in fact there or not.

Although this is probably needless to say, I could not tell for certain. I dared not go out there just at that moment. I figured it would not hurt to get more wet at that if they were in fact down.

I came in too awake to go back to sleep. I looked up the weather for watches and warnings. I looked at the radar to see if the rain would pass soon making my whole venture pointless from the beginning. I checked on the girl who is often a bit, shall we say, nervous during storms. She slept as peacefully as I should have been at that moment in time.

I made the mistake of deciding I would check my email and my blog hits (addict). I ended up getting side track by someone else’s sick post, which of course led me to a an article, which of course kept me up due to it’s length. I finally turned off the monitor after closing all the various windows and programs I managed to open within a matter of seconds upon finding my hind end resting in my low back desk chair.

I went to bed thinking I would have dreams of the article, but that did not happen. Instead I got up several times thinking I heard Daughter up. I finally fell asleep after being awake for a good hour or better only to have Hubby roll over. This, of course, woke me up as I was not really in a deep sleep yet.

By this time, the little daylight that would be morning had begun to show. I got up yet again and made my way to the front door. The lighting show had ended and the rained had lessened. I tripped down the steps and made my way to the vehicle in question. The windows were in deed up. Not that it would have mattered at that point anyhow.

I did eventually slip back into the land of slumber. I journeyed deep into the forest of dreams and drool as the man sawed logs beside me. I was ripped from said land by a small voice whispering “Mom, I’m up. Can I have a bowl of cereal?” It did not take long before I failed as mother and returned to the state of deep slumber. I think my return was complete before her feet hit the doorway.

Soon though, I woke and made my way out to where a child sat with a dog.

With promises of sleep once the man finally woke, I got dressed to face the morning. I could almost swear I heard my pillow call out to me as the The Morning laughed and said “I knew you would return to me.” I told my pillow, in my mind for I mustn’t wake the man, that I would return as soon I was able. To The Morning, I gave the cold shoulder and replied with only a look of discontentment.

Though the hour was late, I still felt as though my rest was incomplete. Perhaps it was the storm that had once again raged on the world outside my window that cause my body and mind to yearn for the comfort that is only found while in a deep slumber. Then again, it may have been the “AM” that is added to the hour which resulted my need for sleep, as morning waking and I have never gotten along well.

Time has passed. The man has awoken. The storm comes and goes like waves crashing upon the shore; one moment pouring down with trees swaying, then replaced by a motionless drizzle. The phone has begun it’s ringing. Son has come and gone with his teenage morning chaos. And I, regardless of sweet promises whispered to my pillow and blankets in my morning blurr, find myself still awake.

With a deep sigh, I have come to terms with my current state of being. I have accepted “being awake” though given the chance, my body would over take my spinning mind that insists on processing the things that must be done today and cause it to slip and stumble back into the forest of darkness known to many as “sleep”.

Welcome to my morning.

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